“SSSHHH!!!” says the librarian with a scowl…

Scott Douglas’s memoir Quiet, Please: Dispatches from a Public Librarian was HILARIOUS!!! I was honestly laughing out loud as I was reading before bed and my husband kept on looking at me like I was a nutcase!!!

Scott Douglas is a librarian in his late 20s and this book is his journey through the public library system. The anecdotes that he tells are truly side-splitting and I would love to hear from a librarian whether half of these things actually happen! (Douglas assures the reader that all events are true in his Epilogue.)

It starts with him as a library page whose only duty is to shelve books while he is desperately trying to prove he is not a moron. Unfortunately, he learns that the librarians that he works with don’t even read and think that Pynchon is actually Julia Roberts’s new boyfriend! The book goes on to tell funny stories about computers coming to the library, obnoxious teenagers, story time for the school classes, elderly people that come in drunk on electronic wheelchairs, ESL issues, what he actually thought about library school, and library politics with the archetypal librarian characters.

Here’s an excerpt that I found particularly funny:

[…] Hon, an aging Asian woman. She knew little English, despite having lived in the United States for over thirty years and working in a job where English is the only language spoken.
Despite the language barrier, I like talking to Hon – mainly because of our language barrier; not even a week had passed and we already had a morning greeting. Each morning Hon would come in and ask, “How you do day?” I would reply, “Fine. How are you today?” And Hon would say, “Yes.”
About a month into my stay at the new library, Hon got mad at me. I’m not sure why exactly, but she came to me and said, “I mix peanuts in your shoe.”
I didn’t know what she meant, but I could tell by her tone that she was angry. “What’s wrong?”
“Cements in the paper, plus I need a bag.”
I looked at her, confused. She got angrier. “Cements in the paper!” she said.
“Okay.”
She walked away from me, and we didn’t speak for two days.

This book is HILARIOUS and everyone should pick this one up if they need a giggle!!!

Books Set in a Well Known City

To Whom it May Concern by Pricila Uppal was an absolute pleasure to read! It is a modern retelling of King Lear and it must be the most dysfunctional functional family I’ve ever read about! The dad is an Indian immigrant who is also a quadriplegic and he has an array of very interesting homecare workers that scatter through his house. Oh and he’s about to go through a foreclosure on his house. His French Canadian wife left him because she couldn’t handle the changes in life after he was injured in the hit and run accident. His eldest daughter is about to get married. His other daughter is deaf and works part time in a piercing/tattoo parlor after school. His son is in the middle of a master’s degree in anthropology where he studies curses and the occult and just realized he is gay. What an assortment of characters!!! This is the story of “a father desperate to protect his modest kingdom, and his children, tormented by their desire to escape.”

The best part of this book is that it’s set in Ottawa! I went to university in Ottawa and I just adore that city and really miss it from time to time. Have you ever read a book that is set in a place that you know like the back of your hand? It makes the story so much closer to you and somehow less fictional. I was side by side the characters while they studied at Morriset Library on the Ottawa University campus, or had a pint at the Royal Oak, skated along the Rideau Canal and then had Beaver Tails and hot apple cider, or wandered through the Rideau Center at Christmas!!! This book brought back so many warm memories that I had completely forgotten about!

Unearthing New Authors

Ok, so Elizabeth Chadwick is definitely not a new author but she is new to me and so she can still count as a Newbie!

I honestly adored this book and can’t wait to pick up more! I was so thrilled to see that my library has more of her work!

Surprise, surprise… I am back in the world of historical fiction! The Time of Singing is set in 12th century medieval England during the reign of King Henry II. This novel is all about social ties, social climbing, the restoration of family and titles, and medieval life in general. I liked this one so much because it is completely based on the actual Bigod family who actually existed but no one has ever bothered to tell their story before. Love it!

This author seems to only write about this one era in history and each of her novels follows a different character at a different time or place. Perhaps by reading more, it might feel like a series, but I’m not sure so I’ll have to get back to you on that one!

For some reason this novel kept on making me think of Ken Follett’s The Pillars of the Earth which is a good thing because I loved that one too! If you are one of the millions of people who read that then you will love Elizabeth Chadwick!

Also, this book is 517 pages and so it counts as my second Chunkster!!!! Wooo Hooo!!!!
…
My cats are circling me; it must be time for them to herd me up to bed! LOL! They’re so funny about their little schedules! Are yours like that too? If I stray from their feeding/sleeping/ cuddling schedule by even half an hour they’re on hot bricks! LOL!

Until next time…(and I promise my next post will be stitch related because I can't wait to show you my progress!!!)

Bubble, Bubble, Toil, and Trouble

I don’t normally read non-fiction because I feel like I’m reading a textbook the majority of the time. However, with this one I made an exception and I’m very glad I did. I saw this book in the new release section in my library and something about it called my name! The Enemy Within by John Demos is about the history of witch trials. I didn’t know much about this topic; being Canadian and not American the Salem Witch Trials were never part of my school history curriculum. (Maybe that negation isn’t because of being Canadian…maybe I just went to a bad school? LOL!) This book did discuss Salem and the mystique that it has created through time but it also went right back to the beginning. It discussed the way our idea of God and therefore the Devil came into our lives and ultimately caused the idea of witchcraft. Next, this book came right back to just about the present day to discuss more contemporary forms of witch-hunts such as McCarthyism. This was a pleasantly interesting read. I think what made it feel less like a textbook was that the author chose to have two vignettes of actual specific case stories in each section which were able to keep readers like me entertained as well as informed!

My First Chunkster

Revelation by C.J. Sansom

This is the fourth book in Sansom’s Shardlake series; I have read none of the other three and so parts of this book went completely over my head because of references to past events unknown to me. I’ll have to look up at the library and see if they have any more but right now I’m at my ‘hold’ limit…did you know you’re only allowed to have 50 books on hold at a time! LOL! I have issues, I know!!! But a lot of my holds are on books the library is still acquiring or movies that I’m literally 100th in line for!!! LOL!

This novel is set in 16th century England. I seem to have a predisposition to this era! LOL! Perhaps it’s because it was the age of Pisces instead of Aquarius! LOL! I really have to idea. Anyway, I digress… the novel is set around the time of Henry VIII’s marriage to Catherine Parr and jointly the religious persecution throughout the city. Meanwhile, the London streets are being ravaged by a serial killer that is reenacting passages from the Book of Revelations. I am embarrassed to admit that I have only read bits and pieces of the Book of Revelations but from what I understand it’s pretty horrifying stuff!

I enjoyed the aspects of rudimentary science and medicine that this book discusses, mainly the first areas of psychiatry in the Bedlam Hospital. There is a woman there whose only ailment is agoraphobia and yet she has been locked up like a common nut even though she is perfectly capable of living normally as long as she stays indoors. I have agoraphobia!!! I’m not a nut!!! LOL!



I am super excited about joining in on the Chunkster Challenge!!! This is a reading challenge whereby you read chunky books. I LOVE chunky books and so I hopped right on that bandwagon! A chunky book is anything over 450 pages. Revelation ranks in at 550 pages and so it counts as my first Chunkster! You’re supposed to put a list on your blog of the chunky books you intend on reading but I’m going to pass with that aspect. I’ve been reading a lot of library books recently and I never know when they are going to be ready. Thus, I’ll tally up my Chunksters as I go!

Happy reading, happy stitching, and happy knitting until next time!!!

My Cooking Skills are Sadly Apparent

The Book of Unholy Mischief by Elle Newmark

I’m back in Venice again during the 16th century with this novel and completely loving the journey! This novel begins on the streets with a young boy that is on his own and just trying to stay alive. While stealing to quench his hunger, the boy is accosted by the chef of the doge and made to return his bounty. The chef brings him back to the palace kitchens and makes him his apprentice. There are some scenes where the boy, in the middle of the night, tries to create marvelous concoctions to impress the chef. His main rule of thumb is that if all the individual ingredients are tasty then so will be the finished product. I’m personally pretty domestically inept in the kitchen and while the reader is meant to see that his recipes are putrid, it sadly went right over my head! LOL! (There’s a reality TV show… Martha Stewart can come to my house to teach me how to be domestic but she’ll end up helping me put out the small fires in my kitchen while I order a pizza for the family! LOL! I don’t think she’d go for it though… it might give her a small mental breakdown! LOL!)

Anyway, the novel deals with the city’s hunt for a legendary book which supposedly contains love potions, an elixir for immortality, and much other sage wisdom. The novel is a fine bildungsroman. It has a reverence for the mysteries of the kitchen and how food can transform moods and change the course of history. It’s very entertaining and quite funny in portions too!

Shakespeare's Lost Manuscript

The Book of Air and Shadows by Michael Gruber

This story begins with a fire in a rare book store. When one of the workers opens up the bindings of an old novel in order to salvage the pieces, they find in the binding some old letters. These letters tell about spying on William Shakespeare with a plot to ruin him. Amidst these letters there is discussion of an unknown and lost play which deals with the turmoil between Mary Queen of Scots and Queen Elizabeth. The novel is the story of hunting for this manuscript with mafia and corrupt book dealers on their tail with murders and kidnappings popping up all over the place. This story has two narrators; one is an intellectual property lawyer who is cynical and very witty who speaks directly to the reader in a very unique tone; and the other is a young man who is an aspiring film maker and so everything from him has the undertones of a film (i.e. This can’t be the end because we haven’t had a twist in the plot yet, etc.) This book was a happy find for me and I hope it will be for others too!

Archaic High Class Hookers

I finished reading another book by Sarah Dunant, In the Company of a Courtesan:




This book is set in 16th century Italy and revolves around the life of a courtesan. She had to flee during the sack of Rome to Venice and the story shows her getting back on her feet (no pun intended! LOL!) in a new city. The list of characters is very different: the courtesan, her dwarf servant (also the narrator), a blind and crippled healer, an array of strange servants, and a few real historic figures such as the author Pietro Aretino and the aritist Tiziano Vecellio (Titian). Just like Dunant's other book, Birth of Venus, this is a very carnal book but not to the extent of lewdness. There is a hilarious scene in church where no one is interested in the sermon. Instead, everyone is flirting with each other, either for courtesan services or trying to find a spouse! Very funny!

Small Reading Binge and Knitting News

Well, I was up late on New Year's Eve and I brought in the new year with my knitting project on my knee. I got up early to sew it all together and I got it done in time for our New Year's Day party. But...as I was sitting at the mirror finishing my face I realized just how warm the sweater was. We go to my hubby's family for New Year's Day and the whole family is there and we really look forward to it. However, with all those people in the house it gets pretty warm. So, I took off my beloved sweater and put on a t-shirt instead! LOL! It was the right choice because I was even warm in my t-shirt! Sadly, I still haven't worn my sweater because the next day I was doing crafts with my nieces and nephews (we made peanut butter and seed smeared pine cones for the birds...a white sweater would have been a BAD idea) and today I was at the Humane Society for my volunteer shift and you never know what you're going to get on your clothes there! LOL! Maybe I'll wear it tomorrow!!!! I'll try and coax my hubby to take a picture of it so I can post it! It turned out so nicely! I'm so proud!!!!

I've been on a small reading binge lately! I just finished another one: Pompeii by Robert Harris.



I read about this book on some one's blog and it sounded really interesting. I can't remember whose blog I was reading so if it's you I'm sorry I didn't put a link. The story takes place within four days. The first two are before Vesuvius erupts and the next two are the eruption and aftermath. The main character is the new aquarian of the Augustus Aqueduct. He's the first person to notice that there is something wrong with the mountain because the water starts to get sulfur in it. It was a really good read and definitely interesting to see people deal with a volcano back in 79 AD before they even had the word volcano in their vocabulary!!!

The Frantic Knitter with the Wonky Shoulder

The other evening my shoulder started to hurt and by the next morning I was in a ridiculous amount of pain. I have a knot or something under my shoulder blade but the pain runs up the back of neck and down my right arm! YOWZA!!! It seriously hurts! I'd love to know what I did so that I won't do it again. Well, because of this little inconvenience knitting and stitching was not on the agenda for yesterday...I spent the entire day flat on my back trying to find a comfortable position. Luckily I had a book to keep me distracted! I finished reading The Inheritance of Loss by Kiran Desai.



It's set mainly in Indian during the Indian-Nepali insurgency. It portrays a judge, his granddaughter, and their cook in newly acquired squalor. It blends the scenes in Indian with the judge's youth in England and the cook's son in America. I've got to say this is the first Heather's Pick from Chapters that I wasn't too impressed with. It took me about 250 pages of a 300 page book for me to feel any connection with the characters. However, the prose is beautiful...I think that's what kept me reading! There are some really funny scenes of Indians trying to blend into American and British culture and also one terribly funny scene at the American embassy when they are trying to get travelling visas. One character is trying desperately to get the coveted visa and was advised to say that he is Mexican...when he gets to the desk he can't remember what he was meant to say and tells the clerk that he is Texican!!!! LOL!!!

Today my shoulder is feeling much better and I am in a mad flurry trying to get my sweater done for tomorrow! Just call me Bex the Frantic Knitter!!! LOL! I am determined to get it done!!! Wish me luck!

I hope everyone has a fun and safe New Year's Eve! See you in 2009!!!!

Merry Christmas

I hope everyone had a great Christmas this year! I definitely did!!! My husband and I joined my parents at church to do something completely different this year. We helped to cook a meal for a group of people that would otherwise be alone that day. We had about 40 people there and it was so nice to meet all those new friends! Santa showed up with gifts for the kids! The kids were thrilled to bits because they thought Santa had missed their house in the morning...but little did they know that he was going to make a special visit at dinner time!!! I really had a great time this year and am looking forward to doing it again next year. The best part was that I didn't have to clean the house from top to bottom!!! LOL!

I didn't get my sweater done but I'm hoping it will be complete for New Year's day...it's lucky to wear something new that day! LOL!!!! Yep, I'm superstitious too!!!

It snowed like crazy up here last weekend. We got 40 cm in about 2 days! Here's a picture of it coming down from out the back of our house:



Needless to say, I hibernated last weekend and it was lovely!!! I picked up my Elegance of the Orient cross stitch and it was sooo nice to work on her again. I'm sure you know what I mean...it's like putting on comfy old shoes or something! Here's a pic of my progress:



I also got a lot of reading done while hibernating. I finished The Thirteenth Tale (soooooo good!!!!) and today I finished The Birth of Venus.



I wasn't expecting this book to be as carnal as it was but I suppose in hindsight I should have realized that with a title like The Birth of Venus it would end up that way. However, I love historical fiction and this was a great read.

Tendancy to Ramble

I finished Helen of Troy!!! I seriously plowed through the 600 pages in no time at all! It was ssooo good! Now I've moved on to The Thirteenth Tale.



I know you're not meant to judge a book by its cover but that's partially why I picked this one! This cover is gorgeous! This is the author's first novel at it was a New York Times bestseller within the week it was published. I totally think the cover had a lot to do with it!!! LOL! Also, this was a Chapters/Indigo Heather's Pick. I've always had good luck with her picks and hopefully this will be no exception.

I haven't been stitching much in the past few days. I'm madly trying to finish my white sweater for Christmas. I REALLY want it to be my Christmas sweater! I've finished the front, back, and one arm. I'm about a third of the way up the other arm so all I have to do is finish that bit, do my blocking, sew it all together, and do the cowl neck. I can do it!!! But wish me luck all the same... LOL! Hopefully I'll have a picture of my completed masterpiece before too long!

My husband and I don't have cable, we don't bother with tv. Our friends joke that we're training to be amish! LOL! Anyway, I have recently gotten in to the show 24. I borrowed season one from the library and I am HOOKED!!! I love to knit while watching a few episodes in the evening. I noticed that my library has up to season six so I am set for a while with something interesting to watch on tv! LOVE IT!



I have a few additions to make to my wishlist for Santa. I went through the Heaven and Earth Designs website and found a few little wonders that I mustlet Santa know about.


Here is A Mid Summer's Night Dream. I have this dream to have my library one day have accents of my cross stitch work on the walls but in the library they will all be literature related. This one's for my future libray!!!


This is Cinderella on the Stairs...another one for the library!!!


This is Cleopatra...one kick ass library lady!!!


The Lady of Shallott...I just ADORE this one!


Merlin and Arhtur. I took a course in university that was all about Arthurian legends. From that point forward, I was hooked!


This is The Owl and the Pussycat. I think I was read this story EVERY night as a child. I love love love it!


This one is called Alernative Reality. I think it's the dress that I adore in this one!


This is Musical Fete. I love theaters...so much potential for so much beauty. I spent so much of my childhood in theaters, either in the house or on the stage...so many memories!


This is Catch Me. I feel like a spend a lot of my life falling off of a precipice and hoping someone will catch me! LOL!


This is Pisces. I'm totally into astrology...I'm a big dork, I know, but I'm a true Pisces and it's just in my nature!


And this is Capricorn for my husband. These can hang side by side somewhere in the house...the fish and the goat...what a funny pair we make! LOL!


This is Beckon. While on the HAED website I found the artist Jonathan Earl Bowser (I hope I got the name right...) I LOVE his work!!!! It's so ethereal!!! The following are all his so I'll just give you their titles.


Cascade


Cathedral


Celestial


Forest Light


Forest Mist


Goddess of Tides


Invariance

Santa, I have been VERY good!

Wow! This was one long blog entry...once I get going, I have a tendancy to ramble...LOL!

Again, I'll leave with a funny kitten. This one is good because last week I took my cats the the Humane Society that I volunteer with so they could have their picture taken with Santa...they didn't enjoy it too much...When I got my cats home one was under the bed for 12 hours and the other went straight upstairs and peed in my closet!!! LOL!! I think the cats are voting that next year we take up Judaism...LOL!

Updates, Updates, Updates!!!

I made a book selection!!! I'm now lost in the lovely world of Helen of Troy! Has anyone read this one? I read another one by Margaret George called Mary, Called Magdalene. (Also very enjoyable!)



I went a little buck wild with holds at the library and they're coming in in droves so there will be much fireside reading by Bex coming up! I LOVE IT!!!

Well, here's the picture I promised of me in my new sweater. This is the first sweater that I have ever made and am mostly just grateful that it looks like a sweater and not a potato sack!



Don't I look happy? I'm soooo happy!!!


And at long last here is my update picture for Lissandrea! She's so gorgeous!!! I go to work on her and I find myself staring at her instead!!! Much more stitching to come though. I love the winter because there's so much stitching time in the evenings! January and February are the best months for getting lost in projects!!!



Here are just some random pictures of my hubby and I at a family reunion we went to this past autumn. We look a little goofy but you get the idea!!!





I'll leave you with a final word from the LOL CATS:



Until next time ladies and gents! (Do any men read this...if so PLEASE drop me a line...I would love to hear from you!!!)

Winter Reading

It's been snowing here in Canada and there is nothing like curling up by the fire in the evenings with a good book! That's probably one of my favorite pastimes...after stitching and knitting of course! LOL! The last few days, I have been ENGROSSED in The Glass of Time by Michael Cox. If you haven't read this book, I totally recommend it!!! I love this guy's prose! Just incredible!!! I got it from the library and it is due back today and there are about a million holds on it and so I was determined to finish it before I had to give it back!!! Thus, my life has been completely on hold to accomplish the task!!! The novel is the sequel to The Meaning of Night. They're set in Victorian England at the estate of Evenwood (I could easily move in and happily live my life there!) It has murder and deceit and romance and everything in between!!! Honestly...pick up these books if you can!!!! You will love them!!!

Any recommendation on what to read next?





And here's one more funny kitten just because it made me howl with laughter this morning and I wanted to share the giggles!!!

Woo Hoo I'm Done Page Two !!!!

I'm making GREAT progress with my Lissandrea project! I just adore her! I'm motoring my way through page 3 and am LOVING it! I just love doing faces...it gives the whole work a presence!!! Check out my progress: Please excuse the poor photography; I`m not sure why my camera won`t get a good shot of this one!



I have a degree in Literature and have always wanted to work my way through Harold Bloom's Western Canon (not the book but the list.) I have finally begun! I went through the list and have ticked off all the books that I have read. I've made it through the majority of the British, American, and Canadian Literature but have barely touched on other cultures. I have skipped the Theocratic Age because I`ve never really enjoyed the classics (ex. Homer, Virgil, Ovid, Plato) and have gone directly to the Aristocratic Age that begins in Italy with Dante. I have made my way through The New Life and am now working on The Divine Comedy. I can`t believe that I`ve never read it before! It is terrifying! Seriously giving me nightmares but I`ve made it to Paradiso and it`s all more positive there! I also grabbed some biographies and critical essays for my endeavor! I`m so studious!!!!! LOL!

Well, with all this reading and all this stitching my eyes are a little sore. I`ve started wearing my glasses again. My hubby likes to tease me that I look like I`m wearing goggles...He walks past me through the room and pretends he`s doing the breast stroke....Here`s a pic of me in my goggles; I don`t think I look so bad! LOL!!!



I was hunting for my cat in the forest the other day and I must have bumped into some Poison Ivy on my travels because I`ve got a nice itchy rash on my leg! I`ve had it once before and forgot the agony it is! It should be called Poison Itchy!!! I was checking online for some home remedies for it and was amazed with the strange things people recommend! I`m putting hydrogen peroxide on it and then using a baking soda paste instead of calamine lotion but online people suggest salt, aloe, banana skins, oatmeal, Clorox bleach, Lysol, Windex...the list goes on and on and gets more ridiculous as it goes! Wish me luck! Any suggestions!!! LOL!!!

Gone But Not Forgotten

I have been one BUSY lady lately!

I have decided that we have too many birds and our present set-up is not working. So...instead of complaining, I have decided to do something about it! I realize that right now our cage is too small for the amount of birds that we have, even though it is the largest cage that we could find. Here's a picture of all our little ones in their little cage:



Everyday we put the cats in the bedroom for an hour or so for their afternoon nap and we let out the birds for a fly around the house. They are very good birds and we have devised a system of putting sheets over plants and other perching places when we want them to go back into the cage. But it is seriously getting ridiculous! Sometimes we spend a good half hour trying to lure them back in and running around like idiots! And worst of all: the other day the cat got out of the bedroom by accident and he ended up with a bird in his mouth! We pried the little one out and he seemed to be unharmed but the poor little guy ended up dying a few hours later anyway. (We nicknamed him Kibbles...please excuse our dark humour!) That was the final straw! So....drum roll please...I'm going to build an aviary!!!!!! I have never built anything other than IKEA furniture and I think that a two-year old could do that...needless to say, I am generally not too adept at woodwork. My endeavour should be interesting and I will definitely keep you posted on my small disasters along the way! :D Here is a picture of the future home of the aviary. I'm basically going to put a front on the window seat that is hidden under all that junk.



My aviary will be lovely! I've already done all the blue prints and have begun scouting out supplies at Home Depot! However, there is a little hang-up...I haven't painted that room yet and the paint fumes will kill the birds if I do it after the birds are in their new home. So....I began to paint! And this is a picture of my life this week:



My hubby likes the California look of white walls and lots of plants. I'm totally cool with that because I don't have to mess about with wall colors. I am fully aware that interior design is not my forte... but I'm doing well with my attempts. All of our furniture is cherry wood and it looks gorgeous against the white walls. The room I am painting is the only room that we still need to replace the furniture. It still has my old white furniture from university days. Here's a pic of the one half of the room that is complete...sort of...the computer desk won't be there for long, just while I'm painting the other wall. Once the desk moves I will put in my big comfy leather reading chair! SOOOOOO excited to get that back! Anyway...the picture...my two first loves: books and shoes!!!



So that is my life lately...Oh, and my one cat got taken into the pound this week again by a thoughtful neighbour and I think he got a cold while he was there. Here is my little snuffly kitten Apollo:



And so that my other little kitten doesn't feel left out, here is Jericho (the bird killer):



Well, this has been one long post about everything and nothing all at the same time! But I have saved the best for last: STITCHING!!!! Yes, I have actually gotten a lot of stitching done in the last little while. I started my Lissandrea project! She is beautiful! I'm already on page 2!!! Here's my progress:




Did you notice that it is on a scroll frame? Yep, I bought myself a new gadget! I can't believe that I ever lived bereft of one of these before! I LOVE it! Here's a picture of the full thing, just because I am so proud!



Well, that's all for today. I've started jogging to help my wibbly bits get firmer and my knees are killing me! I need some ice and to curl up with my book. I'm reading Michael Cox's "The Meaning of Night" and I highly recommend it. All you Canadians might recognize it because it was a Heather's Pick at Chapters a while back.



Ok, I'm seriously going now! Tomorrow I promise to write a very special post because a very kind stitching/blog friend has nominated my blog for an award!!! More on that shortly as my knees feel like they are going to blow up!